Public Morals

Lt. Neil Fogarty, always living on his nerves, is made even more nervous by the fact that he must run the morals department of the New York City police while his boss, Captain Chung, lies seriously injured in hospital. His team is made up of wisecracking second-in-command Val Vandergroot, sexist slob Ken Schuler, busty blonde Corinne O'Boyle, who frequently ends up having to pose as a hooker, tough street cop Mickey Crawford (who is also Val's ex-boyfriend), by-the-book university graduate Darnell 'Shag' Ruggs, dim-witted mama's boy Richie Biondi, and gay civilian aid John Irvin, newly transferred from the 15th precinct (of NYPD Blue). The squad faces a tricky case when trying to catch the patrons of a bar selling alcohol to minors.

Corinne breaks up with her boyfriend, Buzz, after Val arrests him for soliciting. Val then suspects that Mickey wants to move in on Corinne.

Ruggs turns up to work without his pants and explains to Lt. Fogarty that a nine-year-old boy, Robert, mugged him. Fogarty, who is on a cheese-only diet, becomes obsessed with a strange smell in his office until Ruggs realizes it's the lieutenant who smells. While Richie is persuaded by John to see if Richie's dog likes his so the two pets can have companionship, Schuler gets a date through the personal ads. All seems to go well until, walking home, she demands Schuler's shoes at gunpoint.

The squad accidentally raids room 5C of a tenement building before breaking up an illegal Korean gambling den next door. Some of the confiscated money subsequently goes missing. While Fogarty is acting strange due to terrible flu, Richie goes to his priest to admit that he genuinely mislaid $1,000 from the gambling den haul but, being from a family of cons, he is afraid no one will believe him. He is persuaded to tell the truth and returns to the squad room, only to find that everyone knows about the error.

Corinne clashes with Fogarty when she lets go a paraplegic who was caught soliciting during a sting operation. Fogarty, Schuler and Biondi pose as salesmen in a hotel room in the hope of exposing escort girls as prostitutes. The operation is ruined, however, when one of the girls inadvertently mentions a codeword ('Mary Chapin Carpenter'), which causes the other morals officers to rush in before an offence has been committed. Then the paraplegic turns up at the hotel room, saying that he's heard about some action, and exposes himself to Val. Back in the squad room, Schuler wonders if Val is a lesbian. Then a woman enters and Val rushes over to kiss her. The 'woman' turns out to be new squad member Mickey Crawford, fresh from TV (transvestite) patrol, who used to be Val's boyfriend.

Schuler and Corinne pose as a married couple looking for extra-marital kicks at a brothel, which results in the arrest of its madam, Ashley. She turns out to be the girl Schuler worshipped from afar at high school and he is made to think she'll go on a date with him in return for preferential treatment. Mickey feels he's not being treated as one of the team.